Tags
blogjobs, dog blow jobs, Fellatio, Glamour, Human sexuality, Oral sex, search engine analytics, sensual sunday, sex, Sexuality
Let’s start with the some fun. Some meaningless fun (no, not talking about sex here!).
Today the search engine terms have really out done themselves. They range between scandalously sexy to downright creepy. So, here ya go:
Sexy Search Terms for 01/06/2013:
- Good sex on Sunday
- blowjob in traffic leads to sex
- dog blow jobs (2 hits, TODAY alone)
- surprising my dad with a blowjob
- special blowjobs
- poor performance on a one night stand
Looking at this list I came to a realization (not that this was news to me or anything), people seem to have a particular interest in blow jobs (with dogs and dads apparently, which really, is just plain sick – hey whatever drives traffic is beyond my judgment)!
NOW, to the second half of this weeks Sensual Sunday’s post was inspired by the continued interest in blow jobs that traffic to my admittedly somewhat sex infused blog.
Once again I am concocting this post mainly out of anecdotal and personal experience. What I have heard during in-depth, honest and open (I hope) conversations with both men and women.
I learned there was one common theme that both sexes expressed: Power
However, both sexes had completely different views on the shift of power during fellatio. Men, of course, saw it as augmenting their authoritative control, exhibiting their dominance over women. Conversely, the women I have spoken to that truly enjoy performing the down under act, feel that giving, holding a man’s pleasure in their hands (or should I say mouths in this case) is the ultimate power over them.
So, both sexes that enjoy the act, believe they are gaining power from receiving and giving lickin’ lovin’. I personally have never thought of giving head as a power thing, I looked at it more as an intimate act where you give, where you want to give someone pleasure. For me, it provided; increased intimacy, fed my “love of cock” – pun intended 
, and gave me pleasure from both knowing my partner was pleased, his arousal bleeding into mine, making me want to share in that joy.
There were times, however, I consciously knew that the men I was with have seen and used getting head as a means to dominate me. Turn me into the submissive. Sometimes the act was used “punishment” (I hope in a playful way, otherwise, this is borderline abuse) or simply for the man to believe he was “in control” because I was on my knees and doing something solely for his pleasure. These events were mostly, if not 100%, initiated by the less than wholesome men in my life. Yet, again, I enjoy the act and have no problem providing pleasure to men I care about as long as they reciprocate in some way, in or out of the bedroom.
Other reasons men love BJ’s, and what aspects, tricks, of it really tickle their pickle? According to what I have read online from totally reputable sources like Women’s and Sex blog and well as mags like Glamour who all claim to be experts in the art of oral lovin’:
According to “The Feminine Woman“, penned by a woman, in an article aptly titled “Why Men Love Blowjobs“,
“No, it’s not JUST because it feels good. most women think that men love it because they don’t have to do anything themselves, and can just sit back wait for the woman to do all the work….To put it simply, and generally, the basic reason why men love being given oral sex is because it is one of the ultimate feminine acts of love“
The article then goes on to detail what exactly the “ultimate feminine act of love” means: Dominance, Vulnerability, Admiration, Perceived Love, Intimacy, Living in your feminine.
My ideas were not too far off from the six reasons the article provide, which encourage everyone to read about their meaning more in-depth by visiting the article.
Another piece, posted by “Experts Blog“, written by a man, provide the 5 Reasons on WHY MEN LUUUV getting their cocks sucked:
1. It feels really good.
2. Oral sex is virtually stress-free for us
3. In oral sex, the voyeur in us really has a chance to come into play.
4. Oral sex is all about recreation, not procreation.
5. Your willingness to unselfishly service us makes us feel good about ourselves.
(again, you can view the detailed explanations of this rational by reading the article “Why Do Men Love Blow Jobs?“)
Note the difference in the male vs. female perspective. The male focusing mainly on the pleasure point, the female on the psychological aspects.
I dunno what the answer is, or if there one. Why people enjoy certain sex acts absolutely has some personal taste component involved, however, to deny there are not some widespread truths, such as simply “it feels good”, is naïve.
SO, boooyyys. Why do you LOVE blow jobs??
(for the record, I have come across TWO men, ever, who claimed they “really didn’t like getting head”. Yah, sure, okay….maybe)
~ audacious amateur blogger
I only love it if she wants to be down there and is enthusiastic about putting me in my happy place, torturing, teasing and driving me bonkers with a smile on her face. That’s the only way i enjoy it.
Because i know she’s in it because she derives pleasure from unselfishly wanting to get me off.
I return in kind, again and again and again… and again..
..and again..
because i like and enjoy seeing my partner exhausted, biting a curled lip, and arms desperately reaching out to me for a cuddle while the waves subside.
Well, I think that about says it all… you just like you AND your partner to be pleased and its not a kind of tool for gaining power.
Like I said, some think of sex solely (ok mostly) as a power struggle bt 2 people. I never really have. Ok maybe a very, very minute occasions.
These people see themselves in control when they are both giving pleasure (bc they are giving it and can take it away as easily), or getting it (bc they “got” the other person to give it to them. Basically, they just feel this need for validation.. kinda I dunno. weird.
But I am glad to hear you are one of those people w healthy and non-self serving (ahem, which you again, made VERY clear
view on SEX, BJ’s and cunni
I happen to be into the dominance stuff, so when its about that, I can get turned on my giving them.
Otherwise, it’s still something that feels good to give, knowing you are pleasing someone else.
Bravo once again for *going there*
haha, thanks. As I mentioned I am making a concerted effort to take my posts to the “next level”. Veering from my emotions to more substantial topics.
That said, this blog is still a reflection of “me” and I… enjoy talkin about sex. It doesn’t have to be about specific sexual episodes ive had, but… gaining a greater understanding, the opinons of my blogger peers, and trying to put together personal observation with research.
I agree, I feel the same as you. Though…I haven’t really put a finger on WHY it CAN turn me on so much – it doesn’t always, sometimes it does actually feel like work, then other times, it works me up. Maybe its when I care about the person and really wanna please them, as you said, is when it triggers …. wait that’s the opposite of what you said.
K, let me rethink this… the dominance comes from have their pleasure in your..mouth..right? so is it that what is turning you on?
It’s an effortless orgasm. The only psychological implications I’d attribute to it are that of Freud’s idea of how everything stems from the desire to procreate and proliferate our genes, the desire for sex, generally. As for the dominance stuff, hooey. I’m sure there are a lot of dudes who see it as a power game, though it’s too vague a generalisation to use in the same way you’d say, “it just feels good.”
I think some chics look at it this way. Men have said that they feel woman use sex as some kind of “transaction”. Like, ok, ill bang you or do whatever if you do this for me.
For woman many men also have said, sex=power. they want it, we can give it we don’t want it as much (fallacy btw) so its all in our hands…
One guy I know literally said “Sex is really all about power”. I was like…errr, for you maybe, I kinda just think (as you said) it feels good”.
I guess it is an effortless orgasm that simply feels good. Those are two of the primal reasons men luv um so much. Unless.. the chic really sucks (ha, no pun intended there!) at it.
Gives me time to work out the menu for the week and the groceries I need to get to make the food.
That is such a good use of time management!
Do you enjoy it though, like do you come from it?
Do you prefer to come from that or sex??
I’ve been w men who would bang me till I came then preferred to have themselves finished off orally… Just asking (I know these are reaaally personal questions so you totally don’t need to answer, publicly or otherwise)
Funny you should be worried about if I would share. Thank you for thinking of that though. Until I met my wife I didn’t care either way. She however has got me liking them. However, in her words “I am difficult to finish off.” My mind is always occupied with several things, so for me BJs are a nice warm up. If that made sense.
Lol, well I had to add that addendum just to cover my ass, but yah, if anyone were willing to disclose it would be you!
Interesting. From talks w guy friends they have told me that they prefer sex w women they actually care about (effort but more intimacy) and BJ’s from women they aren’t that into.
Funny to here the opposite.
How did she get you to like them, and does she regret this
jk
I dated a guy who “didn’t like sex”… Yea I know, I actually am fairly sure he was gay, but when we slept together he had only had sex ~3 times, once w a lesbian, and looked at it as a way he was being used.
I guess I taught him to enjoy sex, something he was shocked by, he wasn’t that young either, 27ish. After a few weeks he was like “this is fun!”. Like no shit, why do you think every movie, ad, book.. Etc. focuses on it.
So, I guess it take a certain person to bring that out in you. That it was your wife tells me you guys are a great couple!
I know for me and “cunni”, I don’t normally even go there w guys. It’s rarely enjoyable. However, I HAVE, w the right man liked it. I can only hope I meet someone like you have that let’s me open up (pun intended lol) too!
I don’t know how she got me into them, one day they were so-so and the next WOW! All I know is that it is nice. I know she doesn’t regret it because one time she told me that it was something that she wanted to do with me.
I love going down on women, my wife has even been a testimonial to how good I am to a few women who had never had someone “good” go down on them. Hopefully you find someone who likes going down and you enough to put forth the effort to make it a WOW for you.
Oh I have, they are just so rare I usually don’t bother even getting into it unless they are either really aggressive about it, I’m kinda in the mood or I’ve known them a while and ready to try something new w a partner.
Maybe, you just loved her. That can make all the difference
There’s something about an orgasm that requires no effort, about just lying back and waiting. Also, the mouth can vary pressure and focus on different spots at different moments whereas the pussy just hits all the right spots.
If I had to choose, I’d choose sex, but bjs are light and airy awesomeness; it’s like floating into an orgasm.
I always feel in control, regardless of orifice, so that angle doesn’t get me.
lol. so you are always the dominant one, regardless of how the act manifests? So, does this mean you do or don’t care, put effort or consider your partners pleasure? Not saying you do or don’t just wondering.
Yea, you know feel the same, I personally don’t equate it with any control aspect ether, it is just another act in sex, which essentially for me is about pleasure over control – though I know as a women I should use it more to “control” men and that many see it as the ultimate power struggle.
Just not something that was ever part of my consciousness. So, I really like your comment
Oh, I care. That’s why I prefer to ravage my wife. That’s not to say she isn’t an active participant, but ravaging a woman taps into her primal impulses and frees her to just fuck.
Ah, gotcha. That’s awesome.
oh I know all about “being ravaged and ravaging”. I spoke of my joy of it and how it does allow you to open up a part of yourself otherwise hidden.
Good for you, sounds like you have a really healthy sexual outlook and relationship with your wife!