Women are attracted to two things. Really at the most visceral innate level.
2. A man that makes her feel good about herself.
No matter what a guy looks like, what he does for a living. It does not matter his hobbies are, how he dresses. None of those superficial things we think make us want to be with someone matter if he does not exhibit confidence. Seriously, all the muscle and six packs in the world mean squat.
The second thing that makes a man attractive to a woman wants is to made to feel that she is special. That when a man looks at her, even if it is a glance across a crowded bar, a brush of an arm while standing ever so slightly too close on line next to her at Starbucks. If when we are engaged in a conversation we get this glow that makes us feel like we are the only woman in the room, in the world, the man she is talking to see’s. Then we are happy. We feel attractive, wanted.
These gestures can be so subtle we may not even notice them. They may be blunt, but not crass.
Recently a man wrote me a note (full discretion alert: this is NOT word for word what was written but the tone and meaning remain in tact):
I think I like you. I like that you’ve opened up to me. I’ve got no ulterior motives….There’s just something about you that attracted me.Something about you made me care.
I want you to think about 3 things:
1. If I “lost” you, it would matter to me
2. There really is something special about you
3. I have to believe that part of what’s depressing you is unemployment.Sometimes just having to get your ass out of bed to go to work lets you forget that your personal life isn’t what you want it to be yet. Do what you can to get a job. You’ll feel better and meet new people.
Okay, maybe if it is not exactly what a woman wants to hear. Perhaps if minor changes were made and the list read more like:
1. I never want to lose you. It would break my heart.
2. Everything about you is special to me.
3. I always want you to be happy. While that is not always possible, there are ways to change your current situation that will make a difference, such as finding meaningful employment. Just know; know matter what, through the good and the bad, I will be there to support you. I will be there to help get you to that happy place.
4. You are a social person. While I don’t love “sharing” you, I know that spending time with your friends brings you to life and that is what made me adore you in the first place; the beauty you emanate when you are full of life and joy.
5. I love you.
Confidence and caring. That is it boys. You got your lists and tips and tricks but really it is all very simple.
I could be completely wrong. I may being making general statements that to NOT apply to all women. Maybe they are just things that are important to me.
Ladies, feel free, no, I implore you to jump in with your opinions on the matter. Fella’s, ok, yea I’m a bit scared, but I wish you the same.
WHAT TURNS YOU ON?
~ the audacious amateur blogger