I left New York City 19 months ago.
I turn 30 years old in 30 days.
I have lived in 3 apartments, in 3 different neighborhoods.
Today, I add number 4 to the list. Today is the last time I ever shut my door, lock it and walk away.
Today is moving day. Today is a new beginning.
Wait. Wasn’t my new beginning a few weeks ago? When I started that new job after being terminated in humiliation. Suffered from crippling painful angst and depression. Wasn’t it two weeks ago that things were starting to turn around for me?
Yes. Actually it was. While, even though after returning home from my SECOND day of my new job I was told matter of fact that I was to move in 15 days. That I had to by March 1, 2013, find a new place to live.
Yep, in 15 days after the start a new job; without even receiving my first paycheck. Oh, and to a place that allows pets. Ruby is my saving grace, no WAY she ain’t comin with me, wherever I go!
To say it has been a tiresome, overwhelming, caffeine infused two weeks is an understatement. However, in another way, while the burden of accomplishing a lot in a short period of time was overwhelming, a weight was lifted from my shoulders.
Why would I be upset? I had been wanting to move for months now. I have been seeing my roommate in a dark shady light that glowed brighter as each day passed.
So what makes people turn against one another. I have never had so many (or any) “enemies” in my life as I do now. Here, in beautiful, liberal, over-educated, stuck-up; Northern California, is where I am most disliked. Who woudda guessed?
Two people started this chain reaction. They are of the same ilk. I see that now. Well mostly. They each have different endearing qualities that made me not run in the opposite direction (though lets me honest; COCK, would my roommate really ever be able to complete with getting some awesome sex on the regular? Don’t think so. LOL, joking.).
I don’t really know. One day we are dining together the next no one in my household, people I never had ill words with are spitting in my face, are ignoring my existence. I can’t lie and say it doesn’t hurt just a bit. However, it sure doesn’t make me question my integrity. I know that I lost trust first. I had reservations first. I know that I would never do or say the things said by these people.
I know that I have to be on guard. I am vulnerable and have allowed chunks to seep through the sieve. This has hurt and tainted me. Not again, I will not let it happen again. Which in its own way is sad, loss of innocence is always sad. Not again.
Adieu Berkeley! Hola Oakland. Yep kids, I’m goin’ gangsta, back to my roots. From the Bronx to Oakland, I’ll have had two of the worlds most famous or rather infamous places listed on my driver’s license. Ha right, if they only knew.
My neighborhood in the Bronx was tree-lined, bright and clean; home to some of the best schools in the country. In Oakland? What has happened here? Since when are there cafe’s, lounges and high-end restaurants in “the hood”. Hell, whatever works right?
Ciao
~jay
I am kind, honest, would do most things for most people, so why after I kindly helped my neighbours, looked after their kids, lent them sugar and all the neighborly things. So why is it then when I ask for a favor they are to busy or I see them hide when I ring the doorbell. So that was years ago, I have basically to f off, I noe keep myself to myself, I now don’t answer the door, I ignore their cries for help. treat me like shit, I will behave like shit. I am 50 in 1 month and 8 days and its taken this long to realise that most people are selfish and out for themselves. So I have now become cynical with new people while waiting to be bitten in the arse. I don’t know if I am a easy target, do I smell like prey or look like a wounded animal. I never do anything to anyone, maybe I should, maybe I should turn feral, “back off or I will rip your face off” but of course I am far to nice to say that.
Wow! I NEED TO LEARN this too.
I personally find every birthday to be… Not depressing, more like a reminder that time is goin, it ain’t stoppin for nobody and it makes me think how I am spending mine.
I tend to get a little impetuous. Make … “live in the moment” decisions… Due my hair bright red, lose my virginity.. Things like that.
30 though is extra scary bc for 15 years I’ve been living by the credo “your 20′s are for fun, 30′s for family, career, life development”.
So like, am I never gunna have fun again? Or not for a while at least? No that’s ridiculous but in my head, some part of me feels that.
Thanks for reading and commenting. I look forward to hearing how a fellow Aries copes w this pivotal bday.
(eh, it’ll be fine!)
I have only 3 true friends and I keep it like that unless I decide to change the entrance fee
Its my life now ♡ 
I enjoy my own company, always have done, I find it difficult to work with people, so having no one around me wouldnt bother me lol yes I am strange lol
Ha, I understand.
But what if you moved 3,000 miles from those close friends?
Would you be ok to not have anyone close, close – literally??
I think my issue is the opposite of yours, having been used to being around people i trusted and loved but maybe forgetting it took YEARS to develop those friendships I lowered my entrance fee bc like a snowless ski season there were few visitors.
Being alone sucks. We are naturally social. These people weren’t all bad but they didn’t know me well or long enough to … Tolerate when things got really bad for me and I admittedly became… Shitty to be around